Good, I'm glad we've got that out of the way.
Other than that, I'm fully buzzword-compliant:
Linux, Solaris, Perl, C, HTML, HTTP, SMTP, TCP/IP, DNS,
Cisco, Oracle, Apache, sysadmin, coding, debugging, troubleshooting,
security, etc, ad nauseam ....
I'm available for hire (if the price is right) for anything from one hour to several weeks.
I'm part of the team that writes the Perl 5 interpreter.
At this point there should be lots of waffle about how brilliant I am, and about all the exciting things that I've done over the years, but there's no point, because you wouldn't believe me anyway. (Would you pay someone on the basis that they sounded good on their website?) Contact me if you need more details.
(c) David Mitchell